Self-Care vs Selfish: Reclaiming the Balance for Ourselves and the Collective.
In a world that often tells us to keep going at all costs, the act of pausing to care for ourselves can feel like a luxury—or worse, something selfish. Many of us have internalised the belief that taking time for rest, nourishment, or healing somehow detracts from our value to others. But what if the opposite is true? What if authentic self-care is not only vital for our personal wellbeing, but also for the health of the collective?
The Myth of “Selfish” Self-Care
Selfishness is rooted in disregard. It puts the self above all else, often to the detriment of others. But true self-care is not about elevating ourselves at the expense of anyone around us—it’s about restoring balance. It’s the oxygen mask on the plane: by tending to our needs, we ensure that we have the clarity, compassion, and energy to show up fully for others. And with the world the way it is at the moment, we need to be ready to show up for others, with bells on!
Self-care can sometimes be mistaken for its glossy, commercialised version—Insta-worthy curated morning rituals, seamless productivity hacks, or trending spa days. Western models such as these are, by design, set up to feed the beast of colonised disconnect: disconnecting us from going within. But genuine self-care isn’t “woo-woo.” It is an act of taking responsibility for ourselves and for the greater part we play within the collective space we live—alongside other people, animals, nature, and with respect to the ancestry and communities that have long flourished by existing in this way.
When we conflate self-care with selfishness—or confuse it with consumer-driven wellness—we rob ourselves of essential replenishment. That confusion breeds guilt, the voice inside that whispers we should be “doing more,” or that resting means we’re “falling behind.”
Releasing Guilt, Embracing Worth
Guilt around self-care is inherited. It comes from cultural conditioning that glorifies productivity and self-sacrifice, particularly for women and caregivers. But caring for yourself is not indulgence; it is maintenance of the very vessel that carries your love, creativity, and service into the world we live in.
When we reframe self-care as an act of worthiness—not selfishness—we create space for deeper healing. And in doing so, we give others permission to do the same.
From Individualism to Interconnectedness
There’s no denying it, ‘Wellness’ (and the industry its build itself upon) has been not only framed as an individual pursuit, but also one that can only be obtained if you are also privileged : my health, my journey, my success, my manifestations, my abundance. But nature teaches us something different. Flowers don’t bloom in isolation—they are part of a living ecosystem, sustained by pollinators, soil, sun, and water.
When we shift from individualism to interconnectedness, we see that self-care ripples outward. Rested and nourished, we contribute more generously, its a given! By being grounded and balanced, we respond with patience instead of reactivity. By tending to ourselves, we strengthen the collective.
Self-Care as Collective Care
Self-care doesn’t mean turning away from community—it’s how we strengthen our place within it. Imagine a society where people felt free to pause, to heal, to care for themselves. We would not see it as “selfish,” but as a commitment to collective resilience.
Just as Bloom essences gently restore balance to our inner world, so too does self-care restore harmony between the self and the wider web of life.
✨ At Bloom ’N Good, we believe that caring for yourself is never selfish—it’s how you honour both your own rhythm and the collective one.
💐 Explore our blends in ‘Shop’ and discover how Bloom essences can support your journey of self-care, compassion, and sweet connection.
Big Love,
Kulli x